ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They are totally on board with this show.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sure, they lecture us about our environment, but have you seen the smog on Tralfamadore?

OK, you may think your boss is a slave driver, but until he uses a holo-whip on you, I'll always be one up on you.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They would like us to know that, in spite of the fact that every movie with an alien in it depicts them wanting our planet or us wildly, we are not all that.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Bajorans are mostly left-handed. That's why they wear their communicator insignia on the right breast.
And why they're so sinister...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

I just had lunch with Amelia Earhart. They don't let her fly anymore.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

ET phoned home, but they hung up when he tried to reverse the charges.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They brought cocoa beans from another planet. I mean, seriously, have you ever looked at them?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Once the rats have telepathy, there'll really be no need for us.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, fire your navigator.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They have an earthy, peaty smell. With just a hint of lilac.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Jedi mind meld? Jedi MIND meld?!? Pfft.
It's Jedi nerve pinch.

Sorry, just entered light speed there - 5 minutes for us became a day and a half for you...

Lots of experiments today - they're keeping me away from the computer. But the truth will be revealed!

Sooner or later.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The sonic screwdriver is never actually used on screws.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sure, there are better places than earth in the solar system to gather raw materials - but where would the fun be in that?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

I believe the children are our future...
We can barter them for concessions from the aliens.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

We are so close with the whole Mentos and Coke thing...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

You know that parallel universe where male/female genders are reversed? Yeah, they're never taking me there again. You sleep with yourself one time...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Humans did go to the moon, it wasn't faked. They just had to green-screen out the Reticulan summer resort they landed next to.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They're really flattered by all the cargo cults, but their humility requires that they ask you to worship Xplorton, all praise be to Its Holy Tentacles.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

A Mac virus would not have taken down a mothership. They're still using DOS.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Ramen noodles are their solidified brains. So, when you do that trick at Halloween, be sure to use Ramen - accept no substitute!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

You know that feeling you get in the shower, like you're being watched and you think you can catch them if you just whip the curtain open fast enough, but there's never anybody there? That's not them.
They like to watch you when you pee. Perverts.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They rhyme with orange.

Pageviews are down. Nobody wants to know the alien truth, I guess >sad face<

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They only came to earth because reception on Alpha Centauri is awful.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Do not get K'lk'var started on Cthulhu. MEE-YOW.

So, they found a lost continent? They didn't find any non-Euclidian buildings on it, did they? Just askin'...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They will go on and on about how when they were podlings, the translations of I Love Lucy were so much better than the felgerkarb they intercept from the TVs these days, until you just want them to die!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They constantly complain about us never thanking them about the comets, but we never get any thanks for our women, so we're even, aren't we? Now, shut up, Klaatu!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Yes, they all speak perfect English. No, they're not going to tell us why.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

It's not really for science. They're just a bunch of perverts.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Most UFO sightings? Stunt flyers on a practice run. Most UFO crashes? Bad stunt flyers on practice runs.

Another glorious morning in my undisclosed location...

Whoa, what time is it? Doggone missing time!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

No, M. Night Shyamalan, the aliens aren't allergic to water. A hyper-intelligent species that is allergic to water crosses the vast distances of space to invade a world 70% covered in water and abduct creatures who are made up of 75% water? Sheesh.
They're allergic to sand.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Pope didn't resign because of a tawdry sex scandal. He's simply been recalled to Coruscant.

Oh, goody, my gruel has arrived. More truths revealed after my feeding...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Galactic Confederation would like to just address a couple of points:
1.) The X-Files, though wildly entertaining, was not a documentary
2.) There are currently no plans to build a hyperspace bypass through our planet. Currently.
3.) While they find Matt Smith charming, they do so wish we'd bring back that delightful David Tennant. Not because he's actually an alien or anything like that. He's just delightful.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Cthulhu, this is your 500 million-year wake-up call.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Cats are your ancestral overlords who have merely forgotten their former place over you... or have they?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

OK, High Emperor Xontar has agreed to issue a formal apology to all Scientologists for the actions of Lord Xenu. He's drawing the line at reimbursing you for your Auditing sessions, though - you brought that on yourselves.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

"Flying saucer" is kind of insulting. They prefer to think of them as "circular ass-wagons".

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The face on Mars? It was supposed to be a frowny face, to go with this one. Stupid contractors.

They're not guarding their computer - SUCKERS!

Injection time... soooo sleeeeeeepy... nighty-niiiiiiiiite

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Don't blame the lost time on them. You were just drunk.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Psy? Yeah, he's totally one of them.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They let the dogs out.

They're about to catch me again. I'll post more the next time I break out. Fight the alien power!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Galactic Confederation is a smooth-running political machine that has turned each of its member worlds into a paradise, but OMG, is it boring! That's why they like to mess with the primitives on backwater planets outside of Confederation jurisdiction.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Paramount? A new Star Trek series had better be in the works. They're just sayin'...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Bigfoot is the result of their genetic manipulation, but keep that under your hat. Interstellar alimony is a bitch, man.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They didn't build the pyramids, their human slaves did. Who'd schlep all that stone without a holo-whip behind them?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

If we knew what the dolphins really thought about us, we wouldn't be so quick to buy that dolphin-safe tuna.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They like to stand right behind the Mars Rover and make faces, then duck real fast when it turns around.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sure, they could make contact with our leaders instead of isolated people in the middle of nowhere. But, have you seen those clowns?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Area 51? More like Area 69, baby!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Crop circles aren't landing strips. They just like to mess with farmers.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Oswald didn't do it. They did. And, boy howdy, are they glad to get that off their thorax.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

That dress does make your butt look big.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sometimes, when they're anally probing you, they just want a hug.

They're out there! Oh yes, they are!