Whoa, what time is it? Doggone missing time!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

No, M. Night Shyamalan, the aliens aren't allergic to water. A hyper-intelligent species that is allergic to water crosses the vast distances of space to invade a world 70% covered in water and abduct creatures who are made up of 75% water? Sheesh.
They're allergic to sand.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Pope didn't resign because of a tawdry sex scandal. He's simply been recalled to Coruscant.

Oh, goody, my gruel has arrived. More truths revealed after my feeding...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Galactic Confederation would like to just address a couple of points:
1.) The X-Files, though wildly entertaining, was not a documentary
2.) There are currently no plans to build a hyperspace bypass through our planet. Currently.
3.) While they find Matt Smith charming, they do so wish we'd bring back that delightful David Tennant. Not because he's actually an alien or anything like that. He's just delightful.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Cthulhu, this is your 500 million-year wake-up call.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Cats are your ancestral overlords who have merely forgotten their former place over you... or have they?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

OK, High Emperor Xontar has agreed to issue a formal apology to all Scientologists for the actions of Lord Xenu. He's drawing the line at reimbursing you for your Auditing sessions, though - you brought that on yourselves.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

"Flying saucer" is kind of insulting. They prefer to think of them as "circular ass-wagons".

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The face on Mars? It was supposed to be a frowny face, to go with this one. Stupid contractors.

They're not guarding their computer - SUCKERS!

Injection time... soooo sleeeeeeepy... nighty-niiiiiiiiite

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Don't blame the lost time on them. You were just drunk.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Psy? Yeah, he's totally one of them.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They let the dogs out.

They're about to catch me again. I'll post more the next time I break out. Fight the alien power!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

The Galactic Confederation is a smooth-running political machine that has turned each of its member worlds into a paradise, but OMG, is it boring! That's why they like to mess with the primitives on backwater planets outside of Confederation jurisdiction.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Paramount? A new Star Trek series had better be in the works. They're just sayin'...

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Bigfoot is the result of their genetic manipulation, but keep that under your hat. Interstellar alimony is a bitch, man.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They didn't build the pyramids, their human slaves did. Who'd schlep all that stone without a holo-whip behind them?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

If we knew what the dolphins really thought about us, we wouldn't be so quick to buy that dolphin-safe tuna.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

They like to stand right behind the Mars Rover and make faces, then duck real fast when it turns around.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sure, they could make contact with our leaders instead of isolated people in the middle of nowhere. But, have you seen those clowns?

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Area 51? More like Area 69, baby!

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Crop circles aren't landing strips. They just like to mess with farmers.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Oswald didn't do it. They did. And, boy howdy, are they glad to get that off their thorax.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

That dress does make your butt look big.

ALIEN TRUTH REVEALED:

Sometimes, when they're anally probing you, they just want a hug.

They're out there! Oh yes, they are!